It's sort of like when you go up to the big kids' diving board for the first time because, hey, every kid has to do it eventually, and you know it's not really that bad, but then you look down at the water way, way down below and oh! this was a terrible idea, the worst idea you've ever had. When you asked permission to do it, you didn't think there was any chance they'd actually say yes. Why would they say yes?
Also, there are a bunch of strangers looking at you. What could they be thinking? They're wondering what's up with the weird kid on the diving board. Why's he shuffling his feet like that? God, just look at this kid's bathing suit. What a twerp. Did he really think that was an appropriate bathing suit for the big kids' diving board?