SCARY THINGS

1. Sharks that shoot guns.
2. Guns that shoot sharks (!).
3. Sharks that fly and shoot lasers out of their eyes and steal drugs and carry smaller sharks and
4.

BAD METAPHORS

1. A gun that cuts right to the truth.
2. A flower that smells like a different flower.
3. An iPod that tastes like 1,000 songs in your jar of honey.
4.

IDEAS FOR FAKE TWITTER ACCOUNTS

1. @ObamasDreams posts his increasingly disturbing nightmares about the apocalypse and talking carrots.
2. @TalkingCarrot muses about his life as a talking carrot.
3. @AngryBear posts variations of “RAWWRGH”
4. @Derrida posts sentences that are always cut off partway through.
5. @AngryCougarProtectingHerCubs posts variations of “RAAAAWRGHH!!! RT @AngryBear RAWWRGH”
6.